SpongeBob Reviews: Season 7 (The Masterpiece/Whelk Attack) (2024)

SpongeBob Reviews: Season 7 (The Masterpiece/Whelk Attack) (1)

No one is coming to the Krusty Krab because they’re all at the Sea Chicken Shack, so Mr. Krabs sends SpongeBob over there to find out what’s attracting everyone to the restaurant. SpongeBob discovers a statue in front of the restaurant that kids can climb and play on. So, Mr. Krabs has Squidward make a statue of him, telling him to have it read by the next morning. With the help of a montage, Squidward gets the statue done on time, but it’s not exactly what Krabs wanted. It’s too, um, “artsy”. Since it’s not something that Krabs thinks will attract customers, they have to resort to Plan B, which is painting Mr. Krabs gold and having him stand still like a statue all day. Genius.

Another good idea that gets ruined by bad pacing and sloppy writing. The first half of the episode is taken up by SpongeBob investigating the Sea Chicken Shack and is riddled with annoying jokes. The second half finally sets up the main plot of the episode: Squidward making a statue of Krabs. Except even that takes a a minute or two to set up, so basically the erection of the statue (stop giggling I didn’t know how else to phrase it) is crammed into the last couple of minutes and has to be told through a montage.

The average SpongeBob episode is only about eleven minutes long, so how the writers manage their time is really important. This is why simple scenarios usually work better. The conflict needs to be developed quickly, you can’t spend too much time on set-up and then cram your main plot into the last half of the episode. It’s sloppy and it makes the episode feel unbalanced.

This could have been a great, Krusty Towers-esque episode. If the main plot had been developed more quickly and the focus had really been Squidward making the statue (rather than having it just be a montage…), it could have been a fun, wacky story where Squidward and Krabs continuously disagree and get on each other’s nerves (whether on purpose or not). Then, at the end, their stubbornness serves to be their downfall. Now doesn’t that sound like a more interesting episode?

Not that the episode is terrible the way it is. There are problems with pacing and story-telling, and a lot of the humor at the beginning didn’t do it for me, but the humor does pick up a bit during the second half. It’s still not great, but it got a chuckle out of me here and there, and I do like the idea of the episode even if its execution was crap. So I guess it’s watchable.

Rating: 4/10

SpongeBob Reviews: Season 7 (The Masterpiece/Whelk Attack) (2)

Gaint, monstrous whelks (which are basically like snails) attack Bikini Bottom and devour everything in sight, including some of the citizens. Well, that’s kind of dark. SpongeBob and Patrick run to the Krusty Krab to hide from the whelks, but the whelks attack the Krusty Krab as well, devouring Mr. Krabs and Squidward.

SpongeBob Reviews: Season 7 (The Masterpiece/Whelk Attack) (3)

The only safe place left (I guess?) is Sandy’s, so SpongeBob and Patrick run there. Sandy lets them in and tells them that she may be able to stop the worms if she can get a sample of their slime and study it. That’s when the whelks break into Sandy’s treedome and devour Sandy, SpongeBob and Patrick. Inside the whelks, Sandy discovers that the reason the whelks are so vicious is because they’re sick. To cure them, SpongeBob, um, absorbs their snot? Gross. But it does cure them and everyone who was eaten gets spit out (luckily everyone makes it out okay) as the whelks calm down.

I really liked this one. It reminds of those cheesy, old-school monster movies, dark but too silly to actually be scary. Though the episode does get surprisingly dark at some parts. Like when Squidward and Mr. Krabs get eaten by the whelks right in front of SpongeBob and Patrick. Of course we, the audience, know that they’re going to make it out okay, as I highly doubt the writers would kill off two main characters so suddenly, but SpongeBob doesn’t know that. For all he knows, two of the people he loves most were just eaten right before his eyes! That’s some disturbing sh*t right there. He also witnesses Sandy, his last hope, being eaten before being eaten himself. Am I the only one who realizes how intense this is? Man, this season is really upping the ante with dark episodes and imagery.

Then you get to the end of the episode, where you find out that everyone is alive and the whelks are only attacking everyone because they’re sick. I have to admit, it’s a bit anticlimactic. I’m not talking about everyone being alive because, as I said, I wasn’t expecting the writers to actually kill off characters, especially main ones. I’m talking about the reason the whelks are attacking, and how the problem is solved afterward. I don’t know, after an intense episode like this, ending it with SpongeBob absorbing snot doesn’t seem to fit. On the other hand, I guess it does kind of fit with the monster movie theme of the episode. Usually the monsters in monster movies were formed because of some kind of virus, so I guess it makes some sense.

Anyway, I do really like this episode. It’s not a funny episode, in fact the only thing I can remember laughing at was Gary’s cameo, but it’s entertaining and surprisingly exciting. I found myself getting really invested in the story and wanting to know how everything was going to turn out.

Rating: 8/10

SpongeBob Reviews: Season 7 (The Masterpiece/Whelk Attack) (2024)

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